In case you hadn't heard I do in fact have the best girlfriend in the world, she is loving, kind, attractive, nice and funny and i am madly in love with her. I am a very lucky guy. This is not becase she helped ALL day cleaning our house for our move out, which i am dreading so much. Today was quite the long day cleaning. The Kellster helped all day, went well beyond our expectations without having to be asked and without any hint of complaints and for anyone who knows us especially with the doggy it was no small feat.
You can call me whipped or the P word call me whatever you want it doesnt matter, but there is one thing you can't call me and that is single, and there is no better feeling in the world.
Saturday, August 29, 2009
Monday, August 24, 2009
Typical Sunday in the Life of a Fantasy Addict
This post was requested by the kellster, see people if you want something done just ask.
This should ring familiar to a lot of the people that take the time to read this, this is what i believe goes on for anyone who is into fantasy just a little bit too much for a typical sunday:
9:00- Wake up, shake off the cobwebs from the night before and pee away the hangover, becasue there is no room for a hangover on a sunday morning.
9:15 Dunkies run becasue its going to be a long and glorious day, sip the coffee slowly, because its going to be a stressful day.
9:30 Crank up the computer and go to all relivant website to check the latest news stories to see if any of your players woke up with a broken arm, or they think that they are flying doves or something.
11:00 Contact every person you know who knows anything about football and ask them who should i start and why.
11:30 Check the matchups, try and see who is playing against your players, try and convince yourself that your best running back can have a good day against pittsburgh.
11:45 Pray to god that your opponet sleeps past one and doenst realize that he has an empty spot, basically promise anyone esle in the league sexual favors to gaurentee that no one tells him that he has a player in his linep with a bye week.
12:00 Watch every "Start'em Sit'em" video available on the internet and call the guy a hack if he tells you to sit a player you have in your lineup.
12:15 Re-arrange your lineup 4535 times to try and get the most projected yahoo points so the people in your league will vote for you.
12:30 Pace up and down the stairs because you can not decide between your worst two players for your 3rd WR spot. all while muttering to yourself that "i know if i sit player X he will have 30 points"
12:45 Read every blurb yahoo sports has to offer.
1:01 Instantly regret every decision you made the minute before.
1:03 wonder why none of your players have scored yet.
1:15 Your opponet has caught a 22 yard pass, you proclaim " I am done"
1:30 you have 13 windows open for each of the games and pop wood when your running back's team is in the red zone.
1:35 check yahoo realize you are down 35.4 to 8.0, and you scream at every play that your guy does not get the carry.
1:45 You proclaim yourself dead for the week and say fantasy sucks.
2:00 your player gets a touchdown all of a sudden your on top of the world.
2:15 Realize a player has 2 touchdowns and you pick him up and drop him and pick him up and drop him, right shamps.
3:00 Hit refresh on yahoo for the 345th time.
4:00 The 1pm games are over and you realize you have 2 players against his/her 3 players left, and you proclaim yourself dead again for the 5th time.
5:00 Send a "congratulations" text to your opponet. ( a major sin, especially when you come back to win).
6:00 your lungs hurt from screaming, you are pissed at yourself for not playing the right players. proclaim you are not going to play fantasy next year.
7: tell everyone how many points you are down, and realize you have a "shot"
8:45 you watch the night game, and realize you are basically tied, and you say "its over i cant lose"
12:00 you are ready to go to sleep all excited that you have a 12 point lead going into monday night with a tight end vs. a kicker. you spend all morning the next day listening to all the co-workers and what they need.
Fast forward to monday night and you win by 20 only pissing off the person that you congratulated way to early.
This should ring familiar to a lot of the people that take the time to read this, this is what i believe goes on for anyone who is into fantasy just a little bit too much for a typical sunday:
9:00- Wake up, shake off the cobwebs from the night before and pee away the hangover, becasue there is no room for a hangover on a sunday morning.
9:15 Dunkies run becasue its going to be a long and glorious day, sip the coffee slowly, because its going to be a stressful day.
9:30 Crank up the computer and go to all relivant website to check the latest news stories to see if any of your players woke up with a broken arm, or they think that they are flying doves or something.
11:00 Contact every person you know who knows anything about football and ask them who should i start and why.
11:30 Check the matchups, try and see who is playing against your players, try and convince yourself that your best running back can have a good day against pittsburgh.
11:45 Pray to god that your opponet sleeps past one and doenst realize that he has an empty spot, basically promise anyone esle in the league sexual favors to gaurentee that no one tells him that he has a player in his linep with a bye week.
12:00 Watch every "Start'em Sit'em" video available on the internet and call the guy a hack if he tells you to sit a player you have in your lineup.
12:15 Re-arrange your lineup 4535 times to try and get the most projected yahoo points so the people in your league will vote for you.
12:30 Pace up and down the stairs because you can not decide between your worst two players for your 3rd WR spot. all while muttering to yourself that "i know if i sit player X he will have 30 points"
12:45 Read every blurb yahoo sports has to offer.
1:01 Instantly regret every decision you made the minute before.
1:03 wonder why none of your players have scored yet.
1:15 Your opponet has caught a 22 yard pass, you proclaim " I am done"
1:30 you have 13 windows open for each of the games and pop wood when your running back's team is in the red zone.
1:35 check yahoo realize you are down 35.4 to 8.0, and you scream at every play that your guy does not get the carry.
1:45 You proclaim yourself dead for the week and say fantasy sucks.
2:00 your player gets a touchdown all of a sudden your on top of the world.
2:15 Realize a player has 2 touchdowns and you pick him up and drop him and pick him up and drop him, right shamps.
3:00 Hit refresh on yahoo for the 345th time.
4:00 The 1pm games are over and you realize you have 2 players against his/her 3 players left, and you proclaim yourself dead again for the 5th time.
5:00 Send a "congratulations" text to your opponet. ( a major sin, especially when you come back to win).
6:00 your lungs hurt from screaming, you are pissed at yourself for not playing the right players. proclaim you are not going to play fantasy next year.
7: tell everyone how many points you are down, and realize you have a "shot"
8:45 you watch the night game, and realize you are basically tied, and you say "its over i cant lose"
12:00 you are ready to go to sleep all excited that you have a 12 point lead going into monday night with a tight end vs. a kicker. you spend all morning the next day listening to all the co-workers and what they need.
Fast forward to monday night and you win by 20 only pissing off the person that you congratulated way to early.
Thursday, August 20, 2009
"He looks great in camp"
If I have to hear that phrase one more time I think I am going to punch someone. This has gotta be one of the most overused terms in sports, the baseball equilivatn would be "he's having a great spring training". How can a professional football player not look good in shorts and a helmet doing one on one drills. Everyone will look good without defenders. How often do you hear someone say "oh hes having a terrible camp" not very often. How am I supposed to get great fantasy advice when all they say is everyone is having a great camp. 50% of these players that are having a great camp will be cut by the third preseason game.
Another one that seems weird is a receiver having a great repor with a quarterback. who else would be throwing to randy moss in camp? of course he is going to develop a great rhythm with brady. People that are "covering" camp have nothing else to say so they come up with these little sayings that dont really tell you anything that is going on.
Speaking of camp, favre came back now so he didnt have to go through two-a-days in the heat of middle america. I cant really blame him, but why not pull a rodger clemes and say i dont want to come in until part way through the season. Minnesota is where kory stringer passed out and died in the heat, so favre was being lazy and didnt want to come in yet, plus this game him another chance to retire, and then un-retire. He will probably retire at least 2 more times before he finally retires. He really needs a broken hip or something so we can believe him, otherways there will be poeple predicting he will come back until his is 65 years old.
I can not wait until football.....
I keep having nightmares about the wire and getting killed. The characters in the show keep appearing in my dreams causing me and the kellsters to not get a lot of sleep. But hey some things are worth it. I bet anyone who watches this show will get hooked right in. I think the best way to go through a show is wait until its over or at least a few season in and just run through them in order. It really is the best way. I hate having to watch one episode and then wait an entire week or two to watch a new one. But i'm already into the office and lost that i can not pass up the new ones that are one to wait until the season is over, but for any new show i'm going to take the wait and get addicted approach. I still need to get on mad men, friday night lights, always sunny in philly and i'm sure there are more but i can not think of any at this moment. Maybe sex in the city... just kidding seeing if you are paying attention.
In the next couple of weeks i am going to do my preview edition for the nfl season and my prediction so that in february you all can look back and make fun of my terrible predictions. and weekly i will see if i can beat bill simmons and make my picks against the spread. so stay tuned, and you can blame the wire for the lack of posts lately.
Thanks bloggers its been a thin slice of heaven.
Another one that seems weird is a receiver having a great repor with a quarterback. who else would be throwing to randy moss in camp? of course he is going to develop a great rhythm with brady. People that are "covering" camp have nothing else to say so they come up with these little sayings that dont really tell you anything that is going on.
Speaking of camp, favre came back now so he didnt have to go through two-a-days in the heat of middle america. I cant really blame him, but why not pull a rodger clemes and say i dont want to come in until part way through the season. Minnesota is where kory stringer passed out and died in the heat, so favre was being lazy and didnt want to come in yet, plus this game him another chance to retire, and then un-retire. He will probably retire at least 2 more times before he finally retires. He really needs a broken hip or something so we can believe him, otherways there will be poeple predicting he will come back until his is 65 years old.
I can not wait until football.....
I keep having nightmares about the wire and getting killed. The characters in the show keep appearing in my dreams causing me and the kellsters to not get a lot of sleep. But hey some things are worth it. I bet anyone who watches this show will get hooked right in. I think the best way to go through a show is wait until its over or at least a few season in and just run through them in order. It really is the best way. I hate having to watch one episode and then wait an entire week or two to watch a new one. But i'm already into the office and lost that i can not pass up the new ones that are one to wait until the season is over, but for any new show i'm going to take the wait and get addicted approach. I still need to get on mad men, friday night lights, always sunny in philly and i'm sure there are more but i can not think of any at this moment. Maybe sex in the city... just kidding seeing if you are paying attention.
In the next couple of weeks i am going to do my preview edition for the nfl season and my prediction so that in february you all can look back and make fun of my terrible predictions. and weekly i will see if i can beat bill simmons and make my picks against the spread. so stay tuned, and you can blame the wire for the lack of posts lately.
Thanks bloggers its been a thin slice of heaven.
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Guess who's Back
It has been awhile since I have posted, since then we had our fantasy draft, and if on friday night i had to hear shamps mutter the words deion branch, one more time i would have lost it. I think shamps drafted him in the tenth round just for attention. one of those look at my picks, "i cant wait to drop him" i can see people brag about a pick right after bragging purposes but it is not very often that a person picks a player and then brags about how bad the pick is. Branch could have been picked 45 rounds later. I think our draft had the biggest run of WR's in the history of fantasy sports, took my by surprise. And thanks for cookie for makeing me drink until 3 am, i wish i had this (the photo) in the bathroom upstairs here i would have scored off the charts
One phenomena that sometimes gets me thinking, How come when you eat something you dont want to eat that again for awhile after that no matter how good it is. If you hear people around the office talk about what they are getting for lunch, and they say "no pizza i had that yesterday" who came up with this buffer zone, pizza is great but once you have it you cant have it again that week, i do this same thing myself and if you really think about it, its weird. I understand variety and all but sometimes it makes no sense. How come this doesn't happen with liquid. You never hear someone say, "no i cant have diet coke i had that yesterday" or "no bud light for me, i had that last friday night" Just simple things like these that get me thinking.
I love the wire, watching these back to back like i did with lost, and one of the guys is even in Lost. watching this show makes me want to be a cop, but im sure real cops dont go around every day with this much action, as most of the cops you see in real life stand at a broken light waiving cars on.
Happy Birthday Kate.
I think that is enough for now. Ill make it a point to not take this long off between posts, I havent really done one in a while with a real theme, but at the moment i can not think of a good theme to do, when i do think of one ill do it.
Friday, August 7, 2009
ask and you shall receive
Tracey asked me to blog about c babes that have no idea of personal space. I love the idea and being a person of the people, I shall. this is one of my biggest pet peeves especially on the T. when they are in a group then forget about it it's like a swarm of fish they kind of float around not caring where they end up Just carry on their conversation like no one is around, arms flying about, i thought there was a sterotype of them being quiet, but put them on the T with a bunch of their friends and you get the loudest people on the planet. but one on one it is still the same. notice next time you are in line and you'll see just how close they get. the worst part is when you try and step away you end up being too close to the person in front of you. and when you step up they step up too. (btw I'm on the T that's why this post is sloppy). it must be an Asian and European thing, they all seem to be way too close, you can tell whet they had for breakfast. i know they know sometimes they smell bad and yet still get up in your business, one.time I almost gagged when this lady was basically spooning me on a crowded T. I hate when you are sitting down and they are standing and they want to grab the pole ( too easy for thats what she said) and they basically stand on your lap. i hate when my legs are being rubbed against for the entire ride.
I was at the gym the other day and there was an old dude in the locker room floor doing naked sit-ups with a face cloth covering his junk. that is beyond comprehension for me. I always thought naked conversations were the worst. or naked hair drying, i can understand standing on the scale naked cuz they want to get the lowest number, but there is no reason to brush your teeth and shave naked. one time 2 guys were having a conversation from different shower stalls, but this is the all time low for me. I know the older guys don't care but come on. there is so much room out there to do sit ups. did he shower and forgot till he got otu that he forgot situps? who knows and who cares. there needs to be rules followed by everybody. That is it for now tonight is DRAFT NIGHT soooo excited!!!
I was at the gym the other day and there was an old dude in the locker room floor doing naked sit-ups with a face cloth covering his junk. that is beyond comprehension for me. I always thought naked conversations were the worst. or naked hair drying, i can understand standing on the scale naked cuz they want to get the lowest number, but there is no reason to brush your teeth and shave naked. one time 2 guys were having a conversation from different shower stalls, but this is the all time low for me. I know the older guys don't care but come on. there is so much room out there to do sit ups. did he shower and forgot till he got otu that he forgot situps? who knows and who cares. there needs to be rules followed by everybody. That is it for now tonight is DRAFT NIGHT soooo excited!!!
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
ride again
took a look at the crossword and it was hard so dedided to do a ride along. I am on a pretty much empty T. I have been noticing that there are some thing u will hear girls say to each other and you will never hear two uses say to each other. I'm not goingto name names but one girl said "I don't have any boobs" and her friends said shut up, you do. I would love to hear a couple guys in the gym lifting weights and one turns to the other one and say I have no biceps and the other guy say " oh pleas you have great biceps" (express
to BU Central!!!!) you will never hear two dudes have that conversation well two dudes that are not into each other. I have a new work schedule where I have to stay late and get to come in late. it's nice there are usually nobody on the T at this time of the morning. I can't believe it is august already. august is the beginning of fantasy football season, probably the best time of the year. I'm looking out the window andthere is a woman trying to run in heels it's funny to see them trying to run taking those baby steps. not that I could wear heels or would ever want to. she ran all that way and the train is running express I can not see her face but she must have been so pisssd. speaking of pissed the dress code is such a joke at us bunk, girls can wear tank tops and not getting repremanded for it. I should tell hr but like my man Omar in the wire says "snitching" rubs me the wrong way. I'm pulling a lost with the wire i am already 9 episodes into season one. looking forward to catching up. I have never heard the N Word so many times in my life.
today should be a great day my love the kellster is coming to have a picnic in the commons. I am getting off now. not that way sickos I mean getting off the t. peace
to BU Central!!!!) you will never hear two dudes have that conversation well two dudes that are not into each other. I have a new work schedule where I have to stay late and get to come in late. it's nice there are usually nobody on the T at this time of the morning. I can't believe it is august already. august is the beginning of fantasy football season, probably the best time of the year. I'm looking out the window andthere is a woman trying to run in heels it's funny to see them trying to run taking those baby steps. not that I could wear heels or would ever want to. she ran all that way and the train is running express I can not see her face but she must have been so pisssd. speaking of pissed the dress code is such a joke at us bunk, girls can wear tank tops and not getting repremanded for it. I should tell hr but like my man Omar in the wire says "snitching" rubs me the wrong way. I'm pulling a lost with the wire i am already 9 episodes into season one. looking forward to catching up. I have never heard the N Word so many times in my life.
today should be a great day my love the kellster is coming to have a picnic in the commons. I am getting off now. not that way sickos I mean getting off the t. peace
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)