I am shamps... oh wait that was another infamous blog that started with so much promise, but faded away like the 04 title hopes of the Yankees. Anyway, everyone who I'm sending this to already knows me so I'll skip the intro crap and start fresh today. Typical boring ass day at US Bank, after going to the gym i got to work and like peter in office space, i just sat there for 30 mins and did nothing. Then got an email offering jeans days for $2 which is normal, so ill do like every warm blooded American, ill buy 2 and use 6. They are offering a shorts day for $10, a shorts and flip flops day for $14 and a shorts flip flops and Hawaiian shirt day for $18 bucks how lame is that. US Bank is so hard up for money that they are trying to shake us down. Speaking of flip flops, i don't know about other places but girls can get away with murder for the dress code, they can wear them anyway and not get in trouble, god forbid a guy wants to air out this dogs and they'll basically call the national guard, anyway i digress. Btw this blog will have a million digressions so keep up
I got out of work, saw Libby driving by me on the big hill and she kept on driving, so thanks Libs!, just kidding i don't mind walking. I got home and had the spray bottle out and was waiting for trot to come into the kitchen and i heard him coming so i got ready and was going to spray him and shamps was right behind him, so i couldn't resist, and sprayed pampers full board in the face, sorry man but it was the highlight of my night. I went down to the basketball court and really wanted to swing on the swing set let's face it who doesn't want to swing, but there were three little c-babe girls playing and i had to wait them out because i didn't want to be labeled a pedophile. Their mother finally came, probably from collecting bottles in the trash, and took them away and i was able to revert back to my childhood and swing for a little while, for those of you who haven't done that in a while i recommend you do it ASAP.
From there i went to the gym to play a real game, saw my buddy Cyclops, for those who don't know its this tall goofy white guy who has Stuart Scott eyes, and you don't know if he's looking at you or doing a no look pass, needless to say there were more turnovers than c-babes with cameras in Boston Commons taking pictures of NOTHING. Omg you have seen many flower bushes in your life no need to take a million pictures of every one you see!!! God i hate them and they always want to stop on the bridge and hold up walking traffic to get in more pictures. If I'm in a bad mood i walk right through staring at the typical 5 foot 4 c-babe with glasses and white hair and see if he complains, so far none, but I'll be ready if there is one. Any who i plan on using this as a way to vent about things that grind my gears, stealing from Peter Griffin. Feel free to comment, actually please comment, and feel free to air your pet peeves also.
My one today I'll complain about is bathroom code, you guys never use the buffer zone, and if there are three urinals and your not at a sporting event, don't use the middle one, its common courtesy, also today i was in the stall, don't worry this is not a poop story, i was in there reading Simmons and i knew for a fact it was empty, and this douche goes in the one next to me, and lets it all rip, if he didn't lose 5 lbs i would be shocked.
My NBA pick is Magic, don't really care, wouldn't mind Kobe not getting another ring, and I want to see King Rogers AKA howard get one. Well that's it for a first post, if you people like this ill keep it up. I'm not really proof reading so i apologize for bad grammar. Let me know what you think, and don't worry i wont hit you up for clicking on links to get a dime. Sorry Pampers these won't all be attacks on you, well....
Thanks Bloggers it's been a thin slice of heaven.
Lets just hope this lasts longer the Sean Davies blog. I have a very random observation/pet peeve. I hate in baseball how every manager uses the same stupid nickname for every player. Ever notice how all they do is add a y to the end of everyones name? For example Girardi calls Phil Hughes, Hughsy. Or Pedroia is called Pedey? Cant they get a little more creative. I dont know why this bothers me, but it just does. Not as much as cbabes taking pictures though, that has gotten out of control.
ReplyDeleteGood job Tom, like it so far. I feel a little Adam Carolla in there and I like it. The tourists are also driving me insane. Try working at MIT its the WORST! Lots of cameras and groceries everywhere! Takes everything in me not to poke every person i see. Wait wait..you sprayed Shamps in the face??? sounds kinky :)
ReplyDeleteMy suggestion for your bathroom problem: find a single stall bathroom somewhere on the floor, and then you can enjoy peace and quiet. I laughed out loud about spraying shamps, but i did think it was a little mean. I agree about he swings. I will try to find some on my way home now. I can' really think of something that grinds my gears, except for my stats book. I hope you will be writing much more often brother.
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